I've wanted to write a post about this for awhile and finally decided today was the perfect time. These days we're all bombarded by advertising and social media whispering in our ears the constant message that we're not enough. We're not thin enough or smart enough, crafty enough, mom enough, got-it-all-together enough and the list goes on. Eventually all these echoes of untruths seep into our minds leading us to believe they are the truth and we're inadequate. I've intentionally avoided Pinterest and rarely get on Facebook but I'm still there and I also browse plenty of blogs that inevitably lead to more blogs and keep me wondering, "how does she think of that or find the time?" So then I thought about how I spend my time and if anyone out there reads my blog and wondered the same thing.
So I'm here to set the record straight. I don't have it all together. At all. In fact, I probably couldn't get anything done without lists. I'm pretty sure I have a list of lists...not really, but it's not too far fetched. I have three kids, one with special needs, one a baby, a husband and a house to keep up with. So where do I find the time? Well, I mostly write after bedtime, thus my lack of sleep, or during nap time. Not every day or every night, but I often get winds where I'll stay up late and get several things done- this goes for writing and crafting (both home decor and for parties). I do laundry while the kids are awake and playing....they don't always need me with them. Independent play is good and though I don't enjoy when there's fighting, sibling disputes are inevitable and teaches them how to resolve them. I keep the kitchen reasonably picked up but the sink doesn't go very long without dishes and I certainly don't vacuum or dust as often as I like...they're usually weekend chores. But my kids won't always be this little and I can have a clean house when they move out. Or at least when they grow up and hate me. :(
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I also hand write many of my posts before typing them up. I find this saves me a tremendous amount of time because I can get my thoughts on paper and edit as I type rather than thinking and editing and writing all at the same time. I'll sometimes find little bits of time during the day to jot down a sentence here or there while playing with the kids. Like I write a sentence, help with a puzzle, write another few words, put on a costume. This is not the most effective way to write so I mostly do this at night- as discussed above- or when I have large chunks of time. Like driving to and from Birmingham (well, I'm riding of course). Then after kids hit the hay, I type it all up and add pictures.
All my crafting happens during sleep schedules-- Will doesn't nap anymore but he likes to help me -- and it often takes me all day to complete something, little bits at a time or over the course of several days. Most of my birthday party planning and crafting takes weeks or months. I started on Maggie's ladybug party at least 3 months in advance....and I started thinking of ideas long before that. The bottom line is, writing is a passion of mine and I also very much enjoy crafting, sewing, baking, photography, etc. So I make time to do them. I'm not perfect because I "get it all done" with 3 kids, but I'm a better mom because I carve out time to do something I enjoy. Something just for me (even though it's usually for them too :)). I do my best to get through a lot of days and my kids certainly aren't perfect, always well kept (we've been known to stay in pj's all day...sometimes mis-matched ones) or eating fresh, organic meals daily. There's plenty of crying, disobedience, fights and laundry/dishes that need tending to. Some days I buy yucky fast food or heat frozen corn dogs without a healthy side because I just want a meal without arguing or let my kids watch too much TV for the same reason or because I just need a break. And I think all our lives look like this when the camera's not on. On this day celebrating us, our moms, our grandmas and all women who made/make an impact on our lives, let's remember not to compare ourselves to other's accomplishments, or what we feel our own lofty list of check marks should be. God made us just the way we are and if He loves us despite all that, why shouldn't we?
My Mom
Her name is Karen. She's the strong sort, definitely the heart of our family, as I think most moms are. When we were little my dad was laid off and most people would decide to settle into a job just to make money for the family. Instead, she started nursing school so that she would always have a career and means of making money. Hard core. She did stay home for awhile before and during nursing school and it took her awhile to finish, but she was determined and is still a nurse today. That already tells you the kind of person my mom is- being a nurse is certainly not easy. When she was
diagnosed with cancer, it was a difficult time, especially because I was in Birmingham and couldn't always be around. We all tried to be strong for her like she has always been for us. She was up and moving the day after surgery and changed her entire diet to keep her body healthy and cancer free. Even though she's strong and that's a defining characteristic of hers, she's also sensitive, loving, compassionate and merciful. She loves her family with a depth most could not attain, always wanting to do, go and be involved. She and my dad spent plenty of time helping us when all our kids were born, particularly Maggie. They practically gave up their lives to take care of us for a couple weeks- cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, helping with Will, etc. Mom even left us with food after Jake so I didn't have to cook for awhile (that coupled with dinners from friends). Because she loves so much she can get hurt and while we're very close, we still have our battles but are always able to talk through it. I hope Maggie and I will share a close relationship like this as she grows up. I love you, mom, Happy Mother's Day!
My Day
Daniel made me breakfast and helped feed the kids this morning. He
wrote the absolute most heart-warming "card" to me that I read before going to church. He helped keep the house spotless and encouraged me to relax. Something I'm not very good at. :) In the end, Maggie, Jake and Daniel took a nap, Will and I played outside and I wrote this blog. Then we got an early dinner at an Italian restaurant nearby that is fabulous and will be our new go-to place for all food Italian in nature. I enjoyed spending some time with just Will, it's been awhile since that's happened. I had a good, relaxing, mostly quiet day. Thanks to my hubby for making the day special!
"Mothers, cherish
that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to
watch over you and your little ones. Yours is the work of salvation, and
therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you are, better than
you are, and better than you have ever been. And if, for whatever reason,
you are making this courageous effort alone, without your husband at your side,
then our prayers will be all the greater for you. Know that in faith things
will be made right in spite of you, or more correctly, because of you. We thank
all of you, and tell you there is nothing more important in this world than
participating so directly in the work and glory of God. "
-Jefferey R. Holland
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This morning Daniel had a sweet and very meaningful happy mother's day blog post open on my computer with my gifts on my desk.Will helped me open his gift, Tangled which I almost bought Maggie for Easter just 'cause I kinda wanted it. :) Then he helped me open a Cricut Essentials value pack for the Cricut Expression! The machine has shipped but won't arrive 'til next week and I'm super excited. I have wanted one of these for years...a scrapbooker's dream machine and it's not limited to scrapbooking, but any craft you can think of! And the sweetest part is Daniel used money from his game fund to pay for it. Such sacrificial love my husband has for me, I love you babe!!!
