Allie's baby dedication

This past Sunday Allie was dedicated to Jesus at our church! We vowed to raise her in the Word and to dedicate her life and our training with a faith in our Lord and Savior. Her dedication was the day after her and Maggie's birthday party, so it was a busy weekend indeed. It was also my SMIL's birthday. Since the dedication fell the same weekend as the birthday party, my cousin, Rachel was still in town so I was very happy to have her at the dedication along with my parents, aunt Patti & uncle Don, plus Daniel's parents & siblings.

The dedication part of the service was much shorter than the one at Hunter Street with our other three kids, but there was a reception afterwards with food, pictures and a gift. We received a jar of marbles that represented the weeks we have with Allie from birth through graduation. It's meant to show the short amount of time we have to influence our children, particularly in an age where a belief in Jesus is not a popular one. The jar came with instructions to take out a marble per week plus certain ones for milestones- like birthdays, accepting Jesus, graduation, etc. It's really neat, I should take a picture of it. Thanks to all who came out to share our special day with our baby girl!! Love you Allie and I pray you will grow to learn and know Jesus and accept him as your personal Lord and Savior.

Maggie's Big Trip

Toronto, Ontario. Maggie and I ventured up to Canada for 4 weeks for a LIFE/functional therapy program at Health in Motion. My mom stumbled upon this site probably a couple years ago but at the time the obstacles seemed insurmountable. We lived in Birmingham and Daniel couldn't take that much time from work. So, how could I go to Canada with two small children for 4 weeks? Or who would help Daniel watch Will if I left him there? I didn't think I could go 4 weeks without Daniel and that amount of time away from both of them seemed impossible. My thoughts were "I'd like to go but how could it really be any different from the therapy she's already receiving?" I went ahead and inquired about the program costs, which only put further doubt in my mind. So that's where I was- I marked it off as a possibility and not even sure it was necessary. Then I put it in the far recesses of my mind and didn't think about it again.

Until I did. One day, I was packing boxes for our move to Nashville and out of the blue, God just laid it on my heart and told me to go. God does that you know. Like when he told Joseph and Mary to escape to Egypt or when he told the disciples to follow him (not that my circumstances are comparable to these at all). I knew it was God because it's not something I would've thought on my own- I already cataloged it as not possible and forgot, remember? But his imprint stayed there. Unfortunately, I wasn't as obedient as Joseph and I still wondered, how? But I felt the wall break down a little as other things started to fall in place. I knew Daniel had more vacation time at his new job, but when I opened the discussion about this trip, he told me they have an office in Toronto where he may be able to work during the four weeks. That was it- I was moving forward. Daniel was skeptical but I knew it needed to be done and I didn't care about the rest because I knew it would fall into place. I actually spoke with Natan, the program director/creator on the phone to ease some of Daniel's concerns. And mine a little, to be honest. Even though I knew God was leading us here, it was still scary and I wanted Daniel to be on board with me. He wasn't fighting me on it, he just felt it was a large investment "into an unknown quantity." Basically we didn't know about the program's efficacy aside from the testimonials on their website. We agreed to go in May but missed a slot due to a mis-communication about logistics. I felt a little defeated at this point. Maybe it wasn't God, just something I wanted? The next open date was Sept 30th- Oct 25th. Will would start Kindergarten by then so we couldn't go as a family and who would help Daniel watch the boys while I was gone? God kept pressing and I finally gave in, sending our deposit in February.

Well what do you know? I found out a couple months later that Will had two weeks for fall break that was to fall right in the middle of the program. That's God. So, only two weeks apart, split into one week increments (which we've done many times before). We began telling people and though we didn't have a whole lot of info. about the program, I was at peace with it; I'm a details person so not caring about holes in the plan is definitely unique for me. God . I searched for places to stay for months with no luck, but didn't stress because I felt at peace. God. I was unsure about how we would pay for it, especially when Daniel's 15 year old car will eventually need replacing, but I was at peace. God. Daniel was actually stressing more than me, which is uncharacteristic of us- I'm usually the worrier- another reason I knew it was the Spirit within me. I got confirmation about our apartment less than a month before our departure and it was in walking distance to the clinic. God. My mom got off work that first week so I had help with Jake making things easier. This means I would only spend the last week alone and would be acquainted with the area by then. God. I also found it no coincidence that the acronym for Health in Motion is HIM.

I had so much peace about this decision. Very few times in my life have I been so certain about a road God wanted me to take. but with this I was and didn't even know why. Until I got there. By the end of day one I wondered why I didn't come the first time and wished I had.

The Drive
My mom, Maggie, Jake and I left Saturday, September 28th around noon; I wanted to leave after Will's soccer game. The start of the drive went really well but after we stopped for dinner and gas things slowed down a bit. We made it outside Cincinatti, Ohio but not quite to Toledo, where I really wanted to stop. But Jake was really done with the car and Maggie was getting restless too. We stopped for dinner then set up in a hotel for the night.

We got a later start on Sunday than I expected but it was slow going, what can ya do? We got on the road a little after 9am and pulled into Canada right around noon, after a restroom break and our last fill up stateside- gas is pricey in Canada, so I wanted to purchase as little of that as possible. The wait for customs wasn't terrible but couldn't be better as well; we made it a short way before stopping for lunch. Once we got closer to Toronto, the traffic slowed down considerably so we didn't reach our destination until about 5:30pm on Sunday. We unloaded, got settled and attempted a grocery trip but it was dark, raining and on-star failed to locate the store right down the street, instead sending us to what looked like a convenience store that was closed. We just grabbed dinner and went back to the apartment to settle in for the night.

Mom and Maggie shared a room while Jake and I shared the room with the crib

We looked forward to what the next week- and four weeks for that matter- held in store for us and our sweet Maggie!

Happy 3rd birthday Maggie!

Maggie Moo, I cannot believe you are already 3 years old! These years have flown by for sure. Three years ago today started as any other day. Except I was already in labor- it started late the previous night. The day progressed and things were going well. Until they weren't. Then the day became scary and the following days uncertain. The whole time you and our family was lifted up in prayer- around the world, in fact. And what would have been an unbearably frightening nightmare otherwise, was eased by the Holy Spirit and our Father in heaven. We felt so much love and could feel the prayers. It is only through Him that our burden was lessened.
"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
I will never forget the day of your birth and am so grateful for every birthday we celebrate with you and all the days in between. God has blessed us with a beautiful, sweet, fun-loving little girl and we love you pieces. Happy birthday, sweetheart, with all our love!

Losing

Even if

I heard this song on a really bad day. I wanted to change the station. It wasn't the first time I heard it, but seeing as I was having a bad day, the words seemed more poignant. I'm pretty sure I was struggling with Maggie's CP or some part of her therapy/progress therein so the healing part really slapped me across the face. Even though I wanted to change the station, I didn't. And wasn't sure why, although of course I know why. The song didn't make my day any better....I didn't have some epiphany from hearing it and decide everything in life was okay...but I knew it was true. And I knew I needed to hear it. Even though I didn't want to.

Merry Christmas

Imagine. You're pregnant with your first child- or your wife is- you have just traveled a long way and you go into labor. You go to the hospital but they're all filled up and can't make room for you. There's a storage closet right outside the hospital they allow you to use to birth your child. How scared would you be? This is about as modern-day equivalent as I can think to describe what Mary and Joseph went through to bring our savior, Jesus Christ, into this world. Such humble beginnings for Him who came to save us and give those who believe eternal life. A life after our life here on earth ends. A far better life than we can ever imagine or understand as finite beings. He truly is the best gift of all.
You know we just relocated to Nashville from Birmingham and as such are visiting churches to find where we "belong"- where God is leading us, where our church home will be. The sermon last Sunday really hit home with me: he told us to put down our to-do lists and focus on loving one another. Isn't that what Christmas is really about? Sharing the love God gave us when he sent his only son to save us? The answer is Yes. I know this, I believe this. Yet I am so guilty of forging ahead with my to-do lists instead of focusing on the true meaning of this season. Particularly this year with packing and moving and unpacking right in the middle of the holidays, I find I just can't keep up with all I have to do, despite how much sleep I lose. But does any of this really matter? No. What matters is Christ. And sharing his love and telling others about his gift of eternal life. I pray you've been better at remembering that this season than I have. Today I'm going to set aside my list and focus on my family- sharing Christ's love with them. I hope you do too.
Merry CHRISTmas!!

Jake's Baby Dedication

Sunday we had baby Jacob dedicated to the Lord and committed to raise Him according to God's word. You may be thinking, "why here, why now?" Well, we had Maggie dedicated in October and I liked doing so as a newborn compared with Will being around 9 months old. The next dedication service is not until February so it's just well since we won't live here anymore and I like that all my kids were dedicated at the same church. We love our church and are hoping God leads us to another gospel-driven church home.
In the meantime, we will miss Hunter Street. God really did a work in us using this church body as an instrument and made us better versions of ourselves, thus a couple and hopefully parents.
We love you Jake and are excited to teach you about God's kingdom!

look at sweet baby boy on the big screen! Ah, just precious :)

He is Risen!

"Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don't know where they have put him!" - John 20: 1-2
"Then the disciples went back to their homes, but Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus' body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot. "They have taken my Lord away," she said, "and I don't know where they have put him." At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus. "Woman, why are you crying? Who is it that you are looking for?"... Jesus said to her, "Mary." She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, Rabboni!" (which means Teacher). Jesus said, "Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, 'I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God." John 20:10-15 & 16-17
Hallelujah, Christ is Risen!! The grave could not keep him and just as he predicted, the temple was destroyed and rebuilt in 3 days. THIS day is the most glorious of all days in Christianity. Christ is not dead; he suffered, died and was buried for OUR sins, so that WE may see our father in heaven but the grave could not hold him because he is Christ our risen saviour. We are forgiven. Our debt is paid. What a marvelous day!!! Easter is fun with all the baskets and candy and egg hunts, but THIS is our reason to celebrate, HE  is our gift, our saviour, our redeemer. Grace...we don't deserve it, but he gave us salvation anyway. And I am so thankful he saved me!
Below is a sermon Daniel showed me a long time ago that I love and think is fitting for today-- listen 'til the very end, it's the most powerful part!



http://youtu.be/yzqTFNfeDnE

Perserverance

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

Last week Maggie was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. I've been waiting to write about it because I had to be ready- had to get to a point where I could talk about it. Obviously this is a pretty serious diagnosis and one that will bring trials for quite awhile or longer I'm sure. I took Maggie to her 6 month follow-up with the neurologist and wasn't expecting anything more than him tracking any progress she's had the last 6 months and any issues/concerns we may have. We expected CP when we took Maggie to the neuro doc last summer and were surprised when he specifically said it wasn't, so I was equally surprised when he changed things up this time. Why did he? I asked the reason for the change-up time and he replied that he knew she didn't have classic CP and sometimes tone issues like Maggie's are more difficult to see in younger babies but present themselves in such a way as they get a little older.
I'm not going to go into my feelings on why I think his response and reasoning was absurd because it really doesn't change anything. CP doesn't change who Maggie is-- how bright and beautiful she is (and her therapists say this so I'm not entirely biased here:)) or what she's accomplished up to this point. Daniel and I talked about this shortly after the appointment and the truth is Maggie's future is in God's hand, not the neurologist's. He doesn't expect her to walk-- at least not without a walker or other assistance and that may be the case but it may not be. We've heard plenty of true stories where doctors didn't expect much and patient's surprised them. And since her diagnosis, we've heard several accounts of adults with CP living "normal" lives- husbands, wives, kids, college, etc. Again, this may not be the case with Maggie, but it may. Our job as her parents is to love her and nurture her and help her and raise her in the Word no matter what difficulties she may have. She will be the person God has made her to be and our number one prayer is her salvation and that she'll be a light for God's kindgdom despite her disabilities- and maybe she'll have a greater testimony because of them.
Now, I mean everything I just said but that doesn't mean I won't have hard days or haven't had hard days. It is difficult to watch my daughter struggle and it is difficult to have to hold her up so she can stand and play or feed her meals instead of walking away while she takes care of things herself. And the thought that she may never run or climb with other kids is a tough pill to swallow. But when I told Marliese what the neurologist said, she told me to get that out of the back of my mind because walking will always be a goal and always something we're working toward. I'm going to go ahead and apply that to all areas of her development because I can't limit her based on what I think she may not be able to do.
Please continue to pray with us, for our perserverance and Maggie's, and still for her healing. Jesus healed many adults with illnesses and disabilities so I don't see anything wrong with keeping hope and faith alive if that's what his plan is for Maggie.

2011 Year in Review

I've been wanting to do a recap of 2011 like last year, but have not yet had the chance. So better late than never! 2011 brought about many blessings, happiness, challenges and sadness. It was a tough year, but we have been so blessed. Funny thing is, I find that through the trials we can truly focus on and appreciate our blessings. I don't know about you, but it seems to me our blessings are more difficult to see in times of prosperity. Well, without further ado, our year in review...

January
After a big Christmas, we settled into the new year with lots of new toys and a little more sleep (Maggie finally slept through the night consistently with cereal feedings.) The fort building intensified when G gave Will an indoor tent with tunnel and the whole room became a fort! We also enjoyed snow and ice a couple times...Maggie's first, I believe...but still played on the new swing set a couple times. My parents visited and I started teaching Will the letters in his name.

February
was unusually warm, we spent many days playing outside- much more enjoyable swing set time than January. I made my first attempt at decorating sugar cookies, but with store-bought dough and cookie icing, nothing like September (but I'm getting ahead of myself). My sister, along with her kids, visited, we went to TN for a wedding, Maggie was pushing up and Daniel gave his first public devotional.

March
brought Maggie starting sitting up-- though at that time we didn't know how long that road would be-- I got a new camera (lots of practice shots this month) and Maggie went to the Birmingham Zoo and to St. Louis for the first time. My mom and I drove together (with my kids in tow) to celebrate a baby shower for my cousin, Rachel, helped decorate her nursery and visited my cousin, Kevin, who was injured on the job and lost vision in his left eye. We also had visitors of our own- my brother and SIL first then my MIL, SIL and her kids- Will loves his cousins!

April
We did some work helping repair houses and spreading the Word in Sayre, AL. This was a great way to start the month. I took Maggie to the state's rehabilitation services and learned that she qualified for Early Intervention. We went to the zoo's grand opening for Trails of Africa and traveled to TN twice-- once for our nephew, Samuel's birthday and again for Easter. The Wednesday after Easter we woke up to violent straight-line winds that did some damage to our town and took a few lives. We only lost some yard furniture and had no idea what that evening would bring: hours of F5 tornados racing through the state in one of the deadliest tornados since 1925. This was a big month!

May
brought weeks of helping tornado victims in any way possible, Mother's Day (got my Cricut), our 6th anniversary, swimming, lots of trips to the park, water balloons, still more forts, Maggie's first EI therapy session and Daniel's 30th birthday! Whew, we were bu-say!! Crazy to look back on, I can't believe we fit all that into one month. I'm also seeing a pattern here- I blog alot. Where do I find the time? I believe blogging must be where my late nights began. What can I say, I love to write. And what better to write about that faith, family and fun?!

June
was busy as well with Daniel's LAN party, my birthday, a trip to the beach with my mom, brother and nephew, plus swimming, park visits, therapy and daily life in between. I also took one of my favorite photos of Maggie this month-- on the collage below it's 4th down, 1st from the left. I just think she looks so sweet here, plus I know something most people don't when looking at this photo: she's actually working. She'll have to work many years or possibly her whole life to do even the simplest things we take for granted. Yet, she still looks so precious doing it. My sweet baby girl.

  

July

meant Independence Day and a trip to TN. My cousin, Rachel was on maternity leave and wanted to bring her family down and introduce to her new bundle of joy. She asked if I could make a trip up and I am now particularly grateful we took time to travel and meet that sweet baby boy. The 4th also brings fireworks and barbecues-- fun and yum! We had visitors of our own again and both kids had their first dentist visit. This was also a big month for Maggie in therapy-- started feeding herself (large finger foods, not puffs or using utensils), able to sit and play for short periods, arms getting stronger-- the list was abundant. July was good and will forever be the month our little girl started making strides toward independence. A perfect month for that, I think.

August

Hot as always, but filled with fun, playdates, progress in therapy, Will's first haircut and pre-school orientation. Can you believe how quickly this year is going by? Daniel also went to Houston this month plus my parents and nephew, Kyle, visited for a few days. Maggie finally visited the neurologist who diagnosed her with watershed injury. We would not have been surprised with a CP diagnosis so this helped seal the peace God had been trying to give me over the previous 11 months that I struggled to accept.

September

This was a big month- Maggie turned one and Will started pre-school all in the same week. Talk about emotional overload. I made it through, though. Maggie's party was super fun (here, here & here) and I spent months leading up the event crafting all sorts of things. My SIL (brother's wife) and fellow crafter extraordinaire turned 30 this same week! I wanted to be part of planning a 30th for her but for many reasons, mostly involving bad timing, we weren't able to pull it off. This same thing happened for my SIL (Daniel's sister) for her 30th! I digress. My brother and nephew visited, Daniel flew back to Houston again and I made a trip to TN to visit my neice, Olivia, in the hospital.

October

Ah, the month of beautiful weather. We settled into the little school routine and new therapists and some additional therapy with Maggie. We now generally have 8 therapy sessions a month. We had more visitors, my MIL, SIL + kids over fall break and my mom for Halloween. Will had orientation at pre-school and we met our newest neice, Isla, in TN (Maggie's closest girl cousin in age). We went to Trunk or Treat at church, Boo at the Zoo and went trick-or-treating in our neighborhood. So candy overload. I think I finally threw the remaining away a few weeks ago. Plus we had plenty of fun times in between.

November

started dim, to be honest. We traveled to St. Louis to attend a family member's funeral. One good thing about funerals is seeing family you rarely have the opportunity to see otherwise. In this case, there is the hope of seeing him again, when this world fades away and the perfect one is formed. I was also able to take my family to the STL Zoo on this trip, something I've wanted to do for awhile. Then more therapy, decorating for Christmas and celebrating Thanksgiving. Daniel and I swap years and as much as I love his family and spending the holidays with them, I am grateful this was my family's year. Because it was my last visit with my cousin's little baby boy. Something I'll always remember. The highpoint was that Daniel and I were able to get a couple nights away, as a couple, and was very refreshing.

December

How quickly a year goes by, especially when you're hitting the highlights! Maggie and Will enjoyed the new kitchen my cousin brought down at Thanksgiving, we jumped in some leaves, attended several Christmas events, made many, many, many crafts, celebrated Jesus' birthday, Will's birthday and then ended the year on a tragic note. A few hours after returning home from our last holiday celebration, we received a call that my cousin's baby passed away. We drove to St. Louis on the last day of 2011 to attend the funeral. Here's the good news: we have hope in Jesus Christ and I pray this family who has lost so much, is abundantly blessed in this new year. Well, that's our 2011 wrapped up, thanks for coming on the journey!

I suppose I could've tried to condense all this into one paragraph like I did last year, but I've gotten in the habit of being wordier this last year, so I just went with it. I hope it wasn't too much! Here's to another year; may you all be abundantly blessed through the love of Jesus Christ!! He brings the only true hope to our lives and when we have his love and grace, we are truly blessed, despite our circumstances. I hope to focus on that this year!

One of the first and last pictures of the kids together in 2011

Happy New Year

I realize we're a week into 2012, but things have been a little hectic, so what can I say? Happy New Year! To be perfectly honest, our year began less than ideal. We spent most of New Year's Eve driving to St. Louis to attend another funeral. Logistically, we usually stop off in TN to pick up or drive with family (my siblings and/or parents) but this time we drove straight through, arriving a few hours before 2011 ended and the new year began.
I am very heartbroken to say this funeral was for a 7 1/2 month old baby boy. Sweetest little boy, Logan, and I was only able to hold him a few times. The mother of this sweetheart little boy is my cousin but also one of my best friends and my heart ached, aches and will ache for her, her husband and their two daughters. Visiting the house and seeing his room was difficult-- brings back so many memories of celebrating his arrival, decorating the nursery-- but not as hard as holding her while she cried or hearing of his last day. I touched on this in my last TT post about my children because at times like this it's impossible not to take stock of your life, your blessings. And I have mentioned over and over in my blog posts since Maggie's birth how blessed we are to celebrate month after month of her life and despite her difficulties, she is here. And that is a gift certainly worth celebrating.
How does it make sense that a parent should have to bury their child? Particularly one who hasn't reached his first birthday. Many non-believers think God could not possibly exist when babies are dying or what kind of cruel God would take a young child from his parents or allow them to suffer? Well, it's because God does not create evil -- sin came into the world and evil is its by-product. He did not want pain or death for us; God is love. In fact, He loves us so much, He sent his only son to bear our punishment so that we may have life again. Until He comes again, we feel pain and sorrow as a result of the mess we made- it was a choice- and we chose unwisely. Did Logan commit a sin himself? No, and now he does not have to suffer in this life like we do. He left a big hole in our lives for sure-- particularly for his immediate family-- those of us who still live suffer his passing. But it's time like these we must cling to God so fervently and rely on his love and strength and comfort to hold us up when we cannot do so ourselves. I just have to say, I am so proud of my cousin. She spoke to me several times about having faith and trusting that God has a plan and reason for all this and has a certain peace about her that can only come from resting in Jesus Christ. In fact she said to us at one point, "am I crazy?!!?" which is exactly how Daniel and I felt after Maggie was born. It's not possible to have that much peace through all the pain of our own accord. He gives it to us. You've read the footprints poem...it's the most difficult times in our lives when he carries us. She's reading her bible, digging into the Word and she and her husband are seeking church membership. God is already working in their lives and it's wonderful to see. The circumstances, of course, are not wonderful but God is the living water and all who are thirsty shall come to Him. He is quenching their thirst and I have complete faith and trust that if they continue this road by His side and in His arms, they will grow and reach a peace they have never before known. His Word does not promise we'll live without difficulties-- in fact it says all over scripture that believers will suffer for His sake-- but he does promise to be with us, to stay by our side, if we'll have Him, if we lean on Him and give all our problems to Him, big and small.
Aside from witnessing spiritual growth and a believer's peace, the good thing about being in St. Louis was bringing in the new year with my STL family. This hasn't happened since before Daniel and I were engaged. Sadly, traveling that far during the holidays has become increasingly difficult. Some shots of the party:

my aunt Rose with the jar I made her - well personalized-

I don't know how to make glass

 hangin' out in the play room

Our wonderful hostess, my aunt Cheri, on the right

 

 boys against girls!

 almost time!

So Happy New Year to you all, may 2012 bring you joy and great blessings. Dear Logan, we begin our year without your sweet, smily face and you'll be dearly missed.